Tis the Season of “Over-ing.”

Updated: Feb 4

So excited that you are here and for the opportunity to share something new that helps with our feelings around this time of year and with all of that over-ing.

I don’t know about you but I spent the the last three days overeating, over watching television, and sleeping more, even though this Thanksgiving holiday was the best!

The kids were all here and there was so much love and with no drama. I celebrated 32 years with out the booze!

After they left, I did not want to feel the sadness of them gone, remorse of past holidays, and the grief of loved ones not here.

So, I did what is called “emotional buffering” in order to “lessen or moderate the impact of something”, which was to lessen the impact of my negative emotions.

It is a human thing!

Since, leaving public education as a principal and starting a life coaching practice I knew what was up.

So, this week’s post is all about feeling more and buffering less in order to create the results in our life that we really want.

I want you to take a second.

I want you to imagine that you are going throughout your day, without that frantic, not enough time energy.

You have tasks on your calendar, and you trust yourself to get them done, even when you don’t feel like it.

Your relationships with the people that you care about are deep and meaningful because when you're with them, you can be with them instead of thinking about all the things that you should be doing.

Sounds awesome, right?

Create that relationship with time and that relationship with yourself and others.

Many of us are conditioned to believe that our productivity is connected to our value as a person. And when we say things like "there's not enough time" it's often connected to thinking "I'm not enough", either.

I want you to consider that and how often you tell yourself that there's not enough time.

And since you're reading this post, I'm assuming that you want to learn how to manage your time a little bit better and buffer a little less.

Time doesn't need to be managed. Time doesn't need a babysitter. It will just go as it always does. Instead, we need help with managing our own brains around time.

It is cough up the hair ball time.

I want you to think of something that you consistently avoid doing. You keep putting it on your calendar or on your to do list. Think of something that keeps getting pushed and pushed out on your schedule and that you tell yourself you're going to do that, and you never do?

Stop here and write it down.

For me it is audience research and getting to know what my clients (educators) really need, want, or are concerned about. I put it on my calendar and then I consistently find an excuse not to do it. I am afraid I will get it wrong so I create content and cool graphics instead.

What is it for you? Is it grading, de-cluttering a closet, taking a pottery class, exercising, spending time alone, writing thank you notes, doing the laundry, reaching out to an old friend?

Instead of doing what's on your calendar, what do you do?

Instead of doing that thing that you keep consistently pushing back, back and back? What do you do instead?

Stop here and write it down

For me it is checking my email and getting down to zero emails. What is it for you? Is it cleaning the kitchen, watching Tic -Tok, folding laundry, scrolling social media, signing up for classes, shopping on Amazon, looking at new recipes, watching the news, reading a book, having a glass of wine?

We know what you're avoiding and we know what you're doing instead.

And all that's really going on here is we have a have a thought that's preventing us from acting on what we need to do.

Oftentimes, it's just like, “that doesn't sound fun”, or “that's too hard” or one of those “Gone from the Wind” thoughts like “I'll just do it later.”

It gives our brain a little out.

So, we scroll Instagram, fold laundry, clear emails because I can feel productive or feel connected or we get a little dopamine hit when we drink alcohol or eat food.

There's nothing wrong with you and your brain.

It's functioning exactly as it was designed to function when we choose to do those things instead of the thing that we really want to do.

But the problem is it's not getting us the result that we want.

What would you have to be willing to feel to do that thing that you really want to do?

Instead of buffering with social media or food or alcohol, or scrolling or online shopping, or doing the dishes? What is the feeling you are trying to avoid and possibly feel while doing the needed task anyway?

For me when I think about doing audience research, I'm going to have to feel probably like confused, inadequate, maybe some dread, maybe a little bit of overwhelm or anxiety or frustration.

What will do you think you'll have to feel? This will give you some insight into what your brain is not wanting to feel?

Stop here and write it down

Is it confusion, anxiety, fear, uncertainty, rejection, dread, overwhelm, boredom?

What if you were willing to feel that emotion and do it anyway?

What could you create in your life? What would your action and results be if you are willing to feel the negative emotion and do it anyway?

Stop here and write it down

For me it would help me speak the language of the women I wish to help by understanding them better and thus serve them better. My business would flourish.

Is it better lesson plans, better time organization, increase home project completion, enjoy life more, more fulfillment, more success, increase sales with side hustle,

What else could you create if you were willing to feel the dread, the confusion, the anxiety, the frustration, the resistance? No one died from a feeling!

Dread comes over me when I look at items on my calendar and I have thoughts like “I don't want to do this, this sounds like a terrible idea.” Rather than buffering or stopping I say to myself “I'm going to do it anyway” and then I do it despite my feelings.

Professional Tips

  • break goals down into smaller tasks which eliminates guess work and drama

  • break down tasks into little actionable steps

  • evaluate how important this task really is and be willing to let it go if not important

  • connect with compelling reasons for goals

  • be willing to let go of busy work with that has no compelling reasons attached to it

In Conclusion

You've identified what you avoid doing, what you do instead such as buffering, and the emotion you might be avoiding experiencing.

You have decided to feel it anyway as well as the results you will have by doing what’s on you to do list or calendar anyway.

Life becomes more manageable and all it took was being mindful and feeling some dread.

I'm a life and relationship coach. In my coaching practice, I help my clients reclaim their personal power by letting go of their past, building a healthy relationship with themselves and others, that create ease in their present moment and a most extraordinary life of happiness and purpose.

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All my best,



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