It's Mother's Day weekend, and I am traveling to Texas to see my Mom in Hospice. I have this overwhelming sense of dread. It is not because I'm flying; it is not because I am away from my children this weekend.
I cannot be vulnerable with my Mom and tell her the concerns that I have. Thinking is that she is in the last stage of her life and does not need to hear about problems. My job as a good daughter is to be respectful, honor her, and help her.
However, I still have these circumstances that I want to share with her to be vulnerable with myself. Since I can't communicate with her, I will start by sharing vulnerably with myself.
I will list all the things I would like to say to her, yet I know I cannot.
A significant awareness came to me; it's not so much that I need my mother to hear what I have to say. I need to express it.
There is this young voice in me that needs to be able to share vulnerably, be heard, and be acknowledged for the wisdom she has. The smartest and wised people I have ever known are five-year-olds.
I asked myself if there was this tiny voice, a more youthful self that had a desire to be heard, how could I listen to her?
Art journals, doodling, or drawing is one way to hear what this child says. I can write a letter to this younger being and have this younger self write back to me. Make a list of all the things I would want to say to her and ask her.
I could write down what she is thinking and feeling. I can ask her how I can honor her instead of feeling dread; how would she like to feel honored.
I have a picture of my younger self. I am looking at it now, and I can ask her how she would like to be heard and how she would like me to think about her differently.
I can learn from her wisdom by listening.
Like many holidays, Mother’s Day can be filled with conflicting emotions for many.
Gaining skills to experience a FULL SPECTRUM of human emotions while also getting curious about the thoughts creating the emotions is how I coach.
No matter what your thoughts and feelings are around Mother’s day, this weekend can serve as a special opportunity to ‘mother’ YOURSELF with extra love, kindness, and compassion...
What thoughts about YOURSELF would feel especially NURTURING (loving, kind, supportive, compassionate…) for YOU this weekend? Hit reply or book a call and let me know.