First of all how would you like know what someone is thinking? It is possible to listen to anyone and discover what they really mean or find out where they are in their learning. Hence, it is reasonable to be present when a parent or child is upset and not be triggered by their emotion. Most of all how about getting to the point in a playground issue? This is all possible by practicing the strategy “Listening to Learn.”
Unfortunately, the default for most of us when we are listening to someone else speak is to think in our head do I agree or disagree with what they are saying. Instead try listening to learn by asking yourself as someone is speaking, “What is important to him or her? What really matters to them? What are they showing me they care about?”
This is instead of “do I agree or think this is nonsense?”
Therefore Listening to Learn is the best way to find out what is important to a person. We can go from being upset or bored to having a highly enjoyable and informative experience. Because whatever someone’s talking about (politics/health care/child care/vacation spots), that person is revealing something about himself/herself. It doesn’t matter what he or she’s talking about, there’s always something to learn.
Seems like when someone is expressing an opinion, it sounds like ranting or complaining.
Instead take a moment to shift from agreeing or disagreeing and listen to Learn what he or she is revealing that he/she cares about. Maybe they care about their family, a child’s well being, being liked by others, being seen, wanting to be a part of the class, being truly heard. Most children and upset family members especially just want to be heard.
The more we listen to learn, the more we will be told about the situation and the values of the person speaking. Listening to learn can be like a treasure hunt where you keep searching for the gems they are revealing. What is he/she showing you? What do you see about him or her?
This is a great strategy to practice and use in the classroom, at parent conferences, meeting with your principal, at the dinner table, on a date and any new social situations such as a party. It will turn a unknown or even scary situation into an adventure.
Interested in learning more Contact Me!